Play Speak
"Liu Runnian has invented a vacuum flask that can keep water warm for several hours," the Minister of Works cried to Xiao Yunzhou in the imperial study.
"Your Majesty, is this vacuum flask the major contribution to the state that you mentioned before?"
"Did Liu Runnian contribute significantly?"
"Is Liu Runnian from the Ministry of Works?"
"This is a project of my Ministry!"
Xiao Yunzhou was rendered speechless by the Minister of Works' barrage of four questions. He hadn't even processed it yet. "Vacuum flask? Where is it? Let me take a look."
[Ah, the vacuum flask, is it what I was thinking of?]
Liu Chuchu was delighted in the side chamber.
But soon, the angry voice of the Minister of Personnel echoed through the imperial study, immediately distracting Liu Chuchu's thoughts.
"Minister Chen, why didn't you explain how Liu Runnian invented this vacuum flask?"
"The Ministry of Works is really shameless, trying to take credit for the Ministry of Personnel's achievement."
Not only was Xiao Yunzhou surprised, but Liu Chuchu was also curious.
Did the Ministry of Personnel have any talented individuals researching technology?
It didn't seem like she had heard of any.
"Your Majesty, Liu Runnian invented this object entirely because of my Wen Chang Brother from the Ministry of Personnel. A few days ago, he told his son that he felt the cold water was freezing to the bone, and he was too lazy to get up at night to heat it up," the Minister of Personnel said, looking at Xiao Yunzhou.
Xiao Yunzhou: "...Ah."
Liu Wenchang, Concubine Liu's father, was so lazy - no, this provided the inspiration for Liu Runnian.
"Pah! Just by saying a sentence, you claim it's the Ministry of Personnel's achievement? Your Ministry is really shameless!"
The Minister of Works was furious, his chest heaving.
"But it's the Emperor who assigns us administrative duties. Does that mean every policy under heaven is the Emperor's achievement?"
"I spit on that - how thick-skinned can you be?"
Xiao Yunzhou: "...?"
[...]
Liu Chuchu was stunned.
After a while, she heard giggles rising from within her heart.
"Ahem, ahem, Your Majesty, I didn't mean you - I was referring to the people of the Ministry of Personnel!" The Minister of Works realized in his agitation that he had misspoken.
The corner of Xiao Yunzhou's brow twitched. "Just state the facts, without bringing up irrelevant matters."
"Your Majesty, we in the Ministry of Personnel are certainly not as reckless as the Ministry of Works," the Minister of Personnel protested loudly. "If it weren't for Wen Chang Brother in the Ministry of Personnel, who was inspecting the capital officials a few days ago and heard a Ministry of Justice official talking about imprisoning an alchemist fraud, Liu Runnian would never have thought of using mercury to coat the inside of the flask to keep it warm!"
[Oh my god!]
Liu Chuchu was delighted. [He really did use mercury!]
"That alchemist fraud had a flask that was accidentally contaminated with mercury. He discovered that the elixir pills placed inside remained warm for a long time, so he always used this elixir flask to keep his pills warm, deceiving people out of their money," the Minister of Personnel explained, wiping away tears.
"This is something my Wen Chang Brother learned by diligently evaluating each official from the Ministry of Justice and reviewing their case files. When he told his son Liu Runnian about this, it led to the Ministry of Works' vacuum flask today!"
"How can you say there is no credit due to my Ministry of Personnel? Your Majesty, what do you think?" The Minister of Personnel glared at the Minister of Works.
Xiao Yunzhou had forgotten how to respond after listening to all of this.
Liu Chuchu also suddenly remembered, [Wow, mercury was originally derived from alchemy - Taoists extracted it from cinnabar ore.]
[Argh, the dead knowledge of chemistry is attacking me again.]
[Speaking of which, my father the Emperor used to love taking elixir pills too. How did I forget that the reason taking elixir pills was so deadly was because of toxic heavy metals like mercury?]
Xiao Yunzhou's expression froze.
Now he knew that elixir pills should not be consumed.
This vacuum flask thing used mercury extracted from elixir pills - of course elixir pills cannot be eaten!
If you eat them, you'll kick the bucket and maintain the same temperature forever!
Xiao Yunzhou coughed lightly in hindsight and quickly raised his hand. "Then this vacuum flask invention shall be counted as a joint achievement of the Ministries of Works and Personnel."
"No way, Your Majesty!"
"No way!"
The two ministers glared at each other.
Xiao Yunzhou was speechless. "What does it have to do with you two? It's the achievement of Father and Son Liu."
"But Your Majesty, Liu Wenchang said he couldn't take credit for the vacuum flask!"
"Your Majesty, Liu Runnian also said he couldn't take credit!"
Xiao Yunzhou was stunned. "They don't want to claim credit?"
How strange - he had only heard of officials falsely claiming credit, never of those who truly deserved it declining it.
Xiao Yunzhou was deeply impressed.
Father and Son Liu had once again opened his eyes as the Emperor.
"Aren't you ashamed," Xiao Yunzhou thought as he looked speechlessly at the quarreling Ministers of Works and Personnel. "The father and son who actually made the achievement don't want the credit, yet you two are fighting over it."
"You have nothing to do with it at all, and I'm ashamed on your behalf!"
"Learn from the Liu family's noble integrity!"
"..."
The two ministers coughed lightly, their faces flushing.
The more Xiao Yunzhou spoke, the more he admired the Liu family. "If everyone in the world was like Father and Son Liu, just doing their work without seeking rewards or promotions, there would be no corrupt officials! I could sleep peacefully then!"
In the adjacent chamber, Liu Chaniang, holding Liu Chuchu, blushed behind her ears.
She knew the true situation in their family.
Her father and elder brother - where did they display such noble integrity in declining credit?
It was because the vacuum flask was the Third Princess' idea that she told them about.
At their age, how could they shamelessly take credit from a child?
"Ahem, Your Majesty, Liu Runnian wasn't without seeking a reward either. He wishes to enter the palace to see his niece, the esteemed Third Princess. He has made a ruby-tinted glazed fabric as a gift for the little princess."
"That's right, Wen Chang Brother also sought a reward, Your Majesty. He wants you to give him a blessed pendant from a high monk of Qiu Mountain Temple to present to the Third Princess."
The Ministers of Works and Personnel said this, their faces also flushing slightly.
"Look, see? The father and son only think about gifts for their own child," Xiao Yunzhou said, moved. "They don't reach out to me for the slightest monetary reward!"
It was no wonder the divine little Third Princess was born into the Liu family!
In the adjacent chamber, Liu Chuchu listened with delight. [Besides the vacuum flask, I'm even getting gifts! I'm so happy - I love my great-grandfather and great-uncle so much. I miss them, sniff.]
Xiao Yunzhou smiled. "The credit for this shall be divided equally between the two of them."
The dispute between the Ministries of Works and Personnel was settled.
Then the Ministries of War and Revenue started bickering and pulling at each other...
"Your Majesty, this kind of vacuum flask for keeping warm in winter can be awarded to meritorious soldiers and outstanding generals!"
"You're about to inspect the West Mountain Camp. It would be perfect to send them along with fur coats and instant noodle rations to comfort the soldiers."
The Minister of War suggested.
Xiao Yunzhou's eyes indeed lit up.
"General, do you really want to betray the Khan? The King of Chu may not be a good person either."
In the deep of the night, at the Jing Country's embassy, Duoti was discussing with his adviser.
After listening to the adviser's dissuasion, Duoti remained silent for a long while and let out a sigh.
"I just want my iron cavalry to receive the best treatment that brave warriors deserve."
"The Khan cannot give me that, but the King of Chu can."
In recent years, in order to seek benefits for his iron cavalry so that they could eat rice and not starve in winter, Duoti had accepted quite a few private gifts from the King of Chu.
"I only know that the brave warriors of the grasslands, who tie their heads to their belts and fearlessly sell their lives for the king, should receive the best!"
"Whoever can give me and my brothers the best, that person will be my master, Duoti!"
In the palace of Jing Country, inside the imperial study.
Xiao Yunzhou gestured to Minister Jiang, "The first batch of hot water bottles produced, reward them to the elite soldiers at the West Mountain Camp."
"The rest, give them to the Ministry of Revenue."
"Chancellor Fu Cha, Elder Shen Mian, you draft an article. I want to invite some brave warriors from the grasslands to stay in Jing Country for an exchange, to learn our army's cavalry and archery skills."
"Set the duration at half a year. Stay in my Jing Country and help train my army!"
"I will also send two Imperial Physicians to the grasslands to spread the practice of inoculation, as an exchange."
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